How to Climb a Mountain

At the beginning of therapy it is not uncommon for clients to doubt that they will ever get better. And I get it. Change is hard. Changing yourself is one of the hardest things to do. And especially venturing into an unfamiliar realm of emotional pain, trauma, hurt, hopelessness, isolation, helplessness and knowing that everything that you tried hasn’t worked is incredibly defeating. Thinking “I will never get better” is a logical conclusion based on what you have experienced. However, my experiences tell me otherwise. I have seen people overcome the most heinous transgressions and at times I have been shocked at how fast. But whenever this comes up in therapy I usually tell this story from my life.

My father-in-law was created by God to run/hike. Whenever we go on a family vacation we HAVE TO go hiking. During one family vacation I went on a morning hike with him and my sister-in-law, Aimee (also born to hike). I am in pretty good shape but I was dying going up this mountain. I was sweating, my legs were burning and I could barely breathe. I’m sure I looked very uncool at the moment and if any of you out there who know me know how important it is for me to look cool. Aimee didn’t look anywhere near as discomposed as I felt and my father-in-law was beaming and was barely breaking a sweat. I would look at the top of the mountain and feel despair because I was barely holding on by the second. When the end of the trail was in sight he “turned it on” and left us behind to get in a good workout. It might have been the delirium of exhaustion but I swear he sprouted two extra legs and galloped up to the top like a deer. After the hike, we sat around the table. They were eating breakfast while I was trying to hide the immense pain I was feeling. I asked him how he was able to hike so effectively. He said “Don’t look at the top of the mountain. Just keep taking the next step and you’ll get there”. I thought that was such sage advice. Since then I have taken his advice and hiking has become much more enjoyable.

And that is the advice I give (via my father-in-law) to my clients. Don’t look at the top of the mountain. Don’t despair about speculation. You don’t know how long it will take and how hard it will be. Maybe you will grow along the way and what you thought was hard isn’t that hard. Maybe what you perceived to be impossible is much more within your grasp than you think. Either way just forget about it. Be brave and focus on the next step. Don’t get discouraged and keep going. You are climbing the mountain either way. You might as well look cool doing it.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.

1 Corinthians 16:13