Marriage

So I was laying in bed early (really early) one morning unable to sleep when something hit me. It was the immense guilt of not writing my blog despite saying I was going to do so. Swimming in guilt I prayed to God for a topic so cool that after a reader was done all would be forgiven. However I could only think of one thing, my wife. I just started to think of our beautiful life together, where we were heading and how exciting it is, how much fun we have, how she is such an amazing person and partner, good memories, and the virtues that make her the best wife in the world. After going down that rabbit hole for a while I began to wonder if I was supposed  to write about her. And if I was supposed to write about her, what would be the reason. So naturally I asked God and I felt like he gave me two reasons. If you think one of the reasons is to get brownie points from my wife then the jokes on you because I don't think she even reads this. So you know I am being completely honest. The first reason was to give you guys a glimpse into our relationship/married life all the while honoring my wife. I'll talk about the second reason later. What a cliffhanger!! Wow! Can you feel the tension...

So, why do I love my wife. Well first off, God arranged the features on her face so that they happen to form the most beautiful woman in the world in my humble, honest, and subjective opinion. I wake up in the morning, look over and there is this white hot woman who is wholeheartedly dedicated and committed to me. It's like the lazy poor man who was handed the deed to Downton Abbey. A hand with this tux Mr. Bates? Naturally I feel undeserving. But it is not that "don't give it to me I'm unworthy" type of undeserving. It's more like the "quickly snatch the deed before they can change  their mind" type of undeserving. I'll take that thank you very much! Every day I feel a lot of gratitude. I can't express how grateful I am. It's a wonderful way to live life. So my wife is about an inch shorter than me. When we go to an event like a wedding she wears high heels. She gets dolled up and is a few inches taller than me. I walk into those events feeling like that regular guy who ,beyond any explanation, landed the gorgeous super model. I know pride is a sin but man, it never felt so good!

But please do not think of me as a shallow man. Her beauty within, dare I say, surpasses the beauty of her really beautiful face. She seems to have an endless well of love that she freely gives me. She thinks about me all the time. I know this because she takes care of me so well. She does a lot of little things like make me a cup of coffee just the way I like it because she knows that it will make me happy. She also does the big things like clean up all the dishes after a meal when I’m tired. I guess you can say she is an amazing partner who has my back. She ALWAYS forgives me and when she snaps at me I know that I just have to wait a little before she comes and apologizes. She has a great sense of humor. We laugh all the time. We always say that our life is one big sleepover because oftentimes we stay up late hanging out. But the late nights aren’t always joking and laughing. A lot of the time we are just talking. We talk about our day, God, how we are doing, world events, our kids, our future, our thoughts...pretty much anything. I feel like I can completely be myself and we can just share anything. There is a level of comfort as if I were just with myself. There is no fear, shame or embarrassment. She creates that atmosphere for me. She takes care of me very well. If I have a scrape she applies just the right amount of, antiseptic, gauze, and sympathy. She makes sure I’m fed and if something is on my mind she will do her best to help me. If I get a stain on my clothes she will get it out. If she can’t get it out, she will research and then get it out. So far none of my clothes have a stain. She always honors me. She never puts me down in front of people and when people take a joking jab at me she is there to defend me even when I don’t need it or ask for it. We never argue. People think I’m crazy when I tell them that. Sure we disagree but she does not attack me when we do. She is honest. I tend to listen to songs over and over and she will tell me when she can’t listen to it anymore. She will let me know if I am doing something wrong and she will give it to me straight with love. It’s terrifying to think of myself out there flying solo without her. In any case, I can go on and on but I just wanted to give you a small snapshot into our relationship. I am a very, very blessed man. 

But things weren’t always like this peachy. We had to work on our marriage just like everyone else. We had rough patches. There were times when we(mostly me) neglected the marriage and it became weak There were times of difficulty, honesty, tears and change. Which brings us to the second reason why I am writing this post. Remember that cliffhanger? Well here is the big payoff. Marriage is awesome! It is the best. It does take work but the positives outweigh the negatives by lightyears. I feel like that message is lost these days. In fact I feel like marriage has gotten a bad rap. God gave us marriage as a blessing and we trash it. I have been shocked to hear so many people look down on marriage to the point that they don’t even want to get married. I feel like He wants me to stand up for marriage and to let everyone know that it was meant to be something incredible for us. It is not a burden. Our spouses are not a ball and chain. Arguing is not normal. Constant conflict with your partner is not something you just have to live with. Marriage is something that boosts us and makes us more than what we were before. It is something that can elevate you to a place that you cannot go alone. It is something that is meant to bring joy, connection, intimacy, strength, wisdom, knowledge, understanding, perseverance, and love. We are supposed to gain a deeper understanding of how much God loves us through marriage. We are supposed to know what it is like to have someone there in the flesh and blood who will never forsake us or leave us, someone who will be there to always support us and be our biggest cheerleader. And that is available to all of us. So ladies and gents, let’s all have a little perspective shift and think well of marriage. I wanted to encourage you, married and unmarried. It has been one of the biggest blessings I have experienced in my life and my hope is for all to experience it too. 

P.S.

I know this post was long so I thank you for reading until the end. Since everyone loves science I’ll reward you with an experiment. Let’s see if Jess reads this post. No doubt she will have something to say about it. I’ll let you know when she says something and what she says. I'll report back next month...or next year...or sometime in the unforeseeable future. If I never respond she may have killed me for writing this post. Oh boy what a cliffhanger!